When feeling different finally makes sense
Many autistic adults go undiagnosed for years or decades, often spending a lifetime feeling different without understanding why. Discovering that you’re autistic can be profoundly validating—it reframes struggles as differences, connects you to community, and helps you understand and advocate for your needs. Whether you’ve long suspected you’re autistic or are just beginning to wonder, evaluation can provide clarity and open doors to support.
What is Autism?
Autism is a lifelong neurodevelopmental difference in how people experience and interact with the world. Rather than a disorder to be fixed, autism represents a distinct neurotype with its own patterns of strengths and challenges.
Autistic people often experience the world more intensely, think in detailed and systematic ways, and have passionate focused interests. They may communicate and socialize differently than neurotypical people, process sensory information uniquely, and find comfort in predictability and routines.
Autism exists on a spectrum, meaning autistic people vary widely in their traits, abilities, support needs, and how autism shows up in their lives. No two autistic people are alike.
What Does Autism Look Like in Adults?
Autism presents differently in each person, but common experiences include:
Social communication differences:
- Difficulty with unspoken social rules or reading between the lines
- Preference for direct, literal communication over subtle hints
- Challenges with small talk or knowing how to start/end conversations
- Difficulty maintaining eye contact or using it naturally
- Feeling like you’re “performing” or following a script in social situations
- Deep, meaningful one-on-one connections but struggle with group dynamics
Sensory experiences:
- Heightened sensitivity to sounds, lights, textures, smells, or tastes
- Seeking or avoiding certain sensory inputs
- Sensory overwhelm in busy or unpredictable environments
- Strong preferences for specific textures in clothing or food
- Using sensory input (rocking, fidgeting, listening to music) for regulation and comfort
Focused interests and thinking patterns:
- Intense, passionate interests in specific topics
- Deep knowledge and expertise in areas of interest
- Systematic, detail-oriented thinking
- Pattern recognition and logical problem-solving strengths
- Preference for structure, routines, and predictability
- Difficulty shifting focus or adapting to unexpected changes
Repetitive behaviors and routines:
- Stimming (self-stimulatory behaviors like skin picking, rocking, pacing, or repeating sounds) for self-regulation and expression
- Need for sameness and distress when routines are disrupted
- Specific ways of doing things that feel necessary
Masking:
- Consciously or unconsciously hiding autistic traits to fit into neurotypical environments
- Exhaustion from constantly monitoring and adjusting behavior
- Feeling like you’re pretending to be someone else in social or professional settings
- Successfully “passing” as neurotypical but at significant mental and emotional cost
Many autistic adults, particularly those socialized as girls or women, develop sophisticated masking strategies that hide their autistic traits from others and sometimes from themselves. This masking can lead to late diagnosis, burnout, anxiety, and depression.
Why Seek an Evaluation?
You might consider evaluation if:
- You’ve always felt different from others but couldn’t quite explain why
- You recognize yourself in descriptions of autism but were never assessed
- Social situations feel exhausting or confusing despite your efforts
- You have intense interests or need for routines that others find unusual
- You experience sensory sensitivities that significantly impact your life
- You’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD, or OCD, but treatments haven’t fully addressed your experiences
- You’re seeking validation, self-understanding, and connection to community
- You want access to workplace or academic accommodations
- You’re experiencing autistic burnout and need support
Understanding that you’re autistic can be transformative. It provides a framework for understanding your experiences, reduces self-blame, and connects you to an affirming community of people who share your neurotype.
How the Evaluation Process Works
Autism evaluation for adults is comprehensive and strength-based, focusing on understanding your unique neurotype rather than simply checking diagnostic boxes.
The assessment includes:
- Clinical interview: In-depth discussion of your developmental history, current experiences, strengths, challenges, and what you’re seeking from evaluation.
- MIGDAS-2 (Monteiro Interview Guidelines for Diagnosing the Autism Spectrum): A guided, conversational interview that explores your social communication style, sensory experiences, focused interests, and patterns of behavior in a respectful, neurodiversity-affirming way. Unlike older assessment tools, the MIGDAS-2 emphasizes understanding how you experience the world and recognizes the sophisticated masking strategies many autistic adults use.
- Cognitive and neuropsychological testing: Assessment of patterns of cognitive strengths and challenges across areas like attention, processing speed, memory, and executive functioning (impulse inhibition, mental flexibility, task initiation and maintenance).
- Questionnaires: Self-report measures about autistic traits, sensory experiences, and related areas.
- Collateral information: When possible and with your consent, input from family members or partners who know you well.
The evaluation focuses on your strengths, how your mind works, and what supports would be most helpful—not on deficits or what’s “wrong” with you.
What Happens After Diagnosis?
An autism diagnosis opens doors to understanding, community, and support:
- Self-understanding and acceptance: Many autistic adults describe diagnosis as finally understanding themselves, reducing shame, and embracing their authentic identity.
- Community connection: Access to autistic communities, support groups, and people who share your experiences and understand your perspective.
- Accommodations: Documentation for workplace flexibility, sensory accommodations, communication preferences, or academic support.
- Therapeutic support: Access to autistic-affirming therapy that addresses anxiety, burnout, trauma from masking, or developing sustainable coping strategies.
- Practical strategies: Understanding your sensory needs, communication style, and energy management allows you to build a life that works with your neurotype rather than against it.
- Advocacy: Understanding your needs helps you communicate them to partners, employers, healthcare providers, and others.
Being autistic is not something to fix or overcome—it’s a fundamental part of who you are. Understanding and accepting your autistic identity allows you to honor your needs, celebrate your strengths, and live more authentically.